I feel sick
Hands shaking, cheeks flushing, insides boiling over
Like abandoned fusilli on a hob too small
I cannot forget
I will not forgive
Words slip off my dagger tongue
Quicker than I like,
Faster than I can think
The sickness is there, the shaking and flushing
But my dagger stays sheathed
Instead my eyes darken and my face
Drops to stone
I will not speak
I will not hear you
You fade into insignificance
I say, to friends, family, strangers
That I am not as angry as I once was
Which is true
But the rage still overflows
Hotter and faster than any other I have met
Why, when I love so fiercely,
Do I also slice that love to pieces and
Use the shards to blind
If wrath is a sin,
I am the deadliest
Hatred boils in my veins even when senseless
I feel anger on all days
Hatred finds its own prey,
And often, I am the hunted.
This is an original poem written by Miriam Methuen-Jones.
Hello! This is a nerve-wracking project for me, but life is boring spent in your comfort zone, eh? I’ve decided to publish a series of fiction pieces (prose/poetry, it doesn’t matter) which I have to write in one draft. I think as a writer I’m always panicking that my work isn’t good enough, and I never get round to showing anyone because nothing is ever ‘ready’. I spent 6+ months on a creative dissertation and when I handed it in I still didn’t think it was finished.
So, I’m challenging myself. No editing, no re-writing, no deleting. Even if I think it’s a bit shit, I have to publish it on here. Hopefully that will reduce some of the fear I feel about sharing drafts! Plus, who knows, maybe I’ll stumble across something I really love while I’m just writing mindlessly.
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